for the locals: wanted {one man's trash is another man's diaper}

{recycled t-shirt diaper via}

am making my own cloth diapers (fitteds, if you were wondering) and would love some supplies that might be cluttering up your house right now! so go check and get back to me. would love to take them off your hands.

flannel :: any old sheets, shirts, receiving blankets, et cetera
towels :: they can be old and raggedy, it doesn't much matter
wool sweaters :: at least 80% wool, the softer the better (like merino or cashmere work nicely)
tee-shirts :: looking for cool old tee's with fun logos or prints

help me make something new and lovely out of something old and no longer needed. my son's cute bum will thank you.

what's cuter than a little baby bear cub?

my little baby bear cub

another post about my foot? seriously?

this is fast becoming anna jo's foot drop blog, I apologize for that. I should be posting cute photos of the sweet babe and talking incessantly about how he is so smart and so advanced for his age. (he really is, I swear.) but since I'm not even sure where the camera is, and even if I did I probably wouldn't be taking pictures anyway because I suck like that, I'm going to talk about my foot. {and maybe the pj-man, too.}

so I really am trying to have a good perspective about things. I'm trying to be patient. the whole thing with nerve damage is that it just takes a long time to heal. and nobody really knows how long it will take. it's hard sometimes, though, and I sort of break down. pete's been really good about helping me see beyond the moment, that this won't last forever and I just need to get in there and do my PT exercises because that's what I can control right now. and he let's me cry and complain about the pain. I'm sure he's sick of hearing about it.

but I have been going to physical therapy and have seen some very small progress. like I said, it is very small but it gives me hope. when I mentally try and lift my toes up some muscles in my leg respond. and also, my foot is uber hyper sensitive lately. I mean, it always was but now it is even more. anything that touches it, even the sheet on my bed, will make it hurt. but guess what? in this case pain equals good. as I'm getting some of that pressure off the nerves, my foot is going to start hurting more. should I be excited about more pain? yes, in this case I'll totally take it. oh and thirdly, I got my AFO brace last week which makes me walk normally. the only problem is that it hurts terribly to wear shoes (just think of having a jammed toe that you can do nothing about since you can't wiggle your toes to adjust). and the best news of all, my PT said today that if she had to guess (and mind you there is no way of accurately predicting anything with nerve damage) this would take 3 to 4 months to heal up. a lot better than the 6(+) months I've been thinking. it's already been 1.5 months. but again, who knows. it really could take more like 6 months. could take a year. but let's all hope and pray for 3 to 4 months. preferably 3.

so now that you have had the low down on my foot, what's going on with the pj you may be wondering? well, right now he is sleeping on my lap. and he's pretty much the cutest thing around. he's actually looking at things now and is able to track stuff as you move it across his line of sight. and he's smiling more. and he's got a wicked bad receding hairline going on. and did I mention he's the cutest thing around? totally love this kid.

perspective

. . .sometimes that mountain you've
been climbing is just a grain of sand. . .

my lil' sis posted this on her facebook the other day and it really struck me. just a grain of sand. maybe it should be my mantra when I feel like things are too much for me to handle. because lately things have been hard. this whole foot drop thing is taking me to the edge on a daily basis, it seems. but I must remember in the grand scheme of things this is just a grain of sand. it could be a lot bigger. a lot worse. it could be a mountain.

and anyway, if there is one thing I've learned in my life, and must remember now, is that for every mountain there is a miracle and I am stronger than I know.

this is my miracle.

pedals4pete

{pedals4pete.blogspot.com}

"Without a doubt, many of you reading this will be able to think of a way in which Pete has changed your life for the better. As a group of Pete's close friends, we know that he has affected our life many times with his kindness and generosity. So, to give back to Pete, we are trying to raise money to help obtain a new bike for Pete and to alleviate some of the financial hardship that came into Pete's life due to this unfortunate accident."
--the pedals4pete website

I am blown away with kindness right now. absolutely blown away. I always knew we had great friends, but this is unreal. thank you everyone who was a part of the pedals 4 pete campaign. the funds you donated will definitely be put to good use and couldn't have come at a more needed time. we can't even begin to tell you how grateful we are. how your secret generosity has blessed our family.

so once again, thank you.

the foot drop

it hasn't gotten better.
set up an MRI appointment.
will be going to physical therapy.

wish I could walk normally.
wish it wouldn't hurt all the time.

wondering if my pain is worth
two hundred dollars.
would you pay that for relief?
or would you continue to just deal
because is it really two hundred dollars bad
anyway?

saved by the bell freeze frame

just wanted to share, because of its awesomeness:

me and my nine month pregnant self + the coolest kids in town jumping for joy

a long time coming: the miles peter story

hello, my name is miles peter

{but you can call me pj}

it's funny when you tell yourself something for a long time, you begin to believe it. I told myself that pj would come no earlier than his due date {today} if not after. I wanted to prepare myself mentally for that since it happens so commonly in first-time pregnancies. pete, apparently, believed otherwise and knew this kid was coming early.

when my water broke last thursday evening I was in a small state of panic. this couldn't be happening now. it was at least a week too early. all my projects weren't finished. mentally I wasn't ready. I hate to say it, but I was slightly freaking out. {and after months of preparing for a calm, gentle birth experience through hypnobirthing, this didn't seem like the right thing to be doing.}

since the midwife I talked to wasn't convinced it was my water that had broken, we waited it out until friday morning to finally go to the hospital. it was pretty apparent that baby wasn't just sitting on my bladder funny for 15 hours. I was not peeing my pants here.

since it had been so long since I had ruptured the midwife really wanted to get things started. pitocin was definitely not on my list of things I wanted during my birth: drugs to induce me, harder labor contractions, et cetera. not what I wanted. but after four hours of trying to get things going naturally and no real results, I was hooked up to the machine and they started the pitocin drip. which, by the way, meant continual monitoring for both me + baby. not what I wanted either.

I labored naturally for 20 hours on the pitocin. I had some serious back labor, meaning all my contractions were felt in my lower back, not uterus. it was hard, it was intense, and for all of you doubtful of the whole "no pain, just pressure" mantra so commonly used by hypnobirthing mammas I'm hear to tell you that it's true -- well, it's all in your perspective of pain. I will tell you one thing, without hypnobirthing there is no way I could have done it for so long without getting some sort of relief. I was having the calm and gentle birth I had envisioned, even if it wasn't the way I had envisioned it. I was strong. I felt empowered. I was a women doing what millions of other women had done before me: I was birthing my baby. it really is an amazing process. I encourage any woman who is considering going the natural route to look into hypnobirthing {don't let the hokey sounding name scare you off -- all it really is is teaching yourself to go in and out of a deep state of relaxation when you want to. of releasing the fear of childbirth and realizing the power of the body; it was made to birth and the baby's body was made to be birthed. really, you are working together.} because I am such a firm believer in it now. the breathing techniques and the affirmations are what helped me through. I can't say enough about it.

by early friday morning I was dilated to a 9. almost there. it could be any minute. a few hours later I was still only dilated to a 9. that's when the bomb was dropped on me: we will have to up the pitocin considerably and it might take 4 - 5 hours to get your body where it needs to be. during this time pj had apparently been sitting on some sort of nerve and my whole right leg hurt terribly and my right foot had started to go numb. there was no way I could keep this up after 20 hours under these conditions, especially with higher dosages of pitcocin running through me. I needed relief. I needed to rest. I chose to get an epidural.

and yes, the epidural was nice. I got to sleep. I was relieved of the intense back labor. I mean, after all, I still needed some strength left for pushing. after 20 hours, I was ok with the decision.

a few hours later I was finally dilated to a 10. okay, we can try pushing now. I'll tell you this, it was all a little anti-climactic. there we all were, after I had just taken a long nap, and I was told to push as everyone sat there looking at me. kind of awkward, really. but I started to do the whole pushing thing to bring little pj down the birth canal. which they let me do for five hours. five hours of pushing. they were strong enough to get him all the way down -- you could even see his head -- but then he wouldn't stay in that station, but slide back up. eventually they said something had to be done soon, so they tried the forceps. which didn't work either because even though I could push him down far enough, the docs couldn't get a good position on his head to make it safe enough to even attempt. last resort: c-section. again, the last thing that I wanted. ever. my birth was not going according to plan here. but I am ultimately ok with that: I feel that I did everything possible to get him here and he just wasn't cooperating. why wasn't he cooperating? well, his head was just in a funky position -- brow up, as they say. because of this it was hard to get my cervix to finish dilating and it was hard to get him through the birth canal. he was just stuck.

the c-section was the quick part in this whole process. they wheeled me in, cut me open, grabbed little pj, sewed me back up. pete got to watch the whole thing. at 11:56pm on saturday night, our sweet babe finally entered the world.

after he was out pete went over to look at him, he came rushing back to me and said he thinks it was a miles. it was so sweet. and so fitting; it took a lot to get this kid here.

I am now at home recovering after a full week spent in the hospital during this whole ordeal. I developed a little case of foot drop that will hopefully resolve itself on its own. otherwise I feel great under the circumstances. we have loved becoming our little family of three.

thank you one and all for your kind thoughts + actions. once again, we feel the love all around us.

miles peter | 8pounds 7ounces | 21 inches | 11:56 pm | saturday, september 19, 2009

shifting priorities

do you ever go through cycles with the types of blogs you read most? I mean, some are constant, everyday reads no matter what life stage. but overall the preferred genre is like a flowing, organic representation of who you are in that moment.

I used to be so addicted to endurance athlete blogs, most specifically ironman. I wouldn't read the blogs of hardcore, elite athletes. they were the real people, with real lives, just trying to do something amazing. they were inspiring. and I ate it up. their training, their struggles, their race day recaps. I felt like I was a triathlon racing pro just by reading them. it wasn't all ironman, some were just running blogs, some were just biking blogs. but then I slowly lost interest. maybe it was because at this point in my life I haven't been able to exercise myself; I don't identify with the endurance scene right now.

and so I move on to the crafty blogs. I am still very much a part of this. I have been sewing a lot of stuff for myself and the wee one to make his little home comfortable and sustainable. {my green baby crafting post will be up as soon as I finish all the little things} there's a lot of inspiring stuff out there. a lot of inspiring people. sometimes I devour more than I produce, which is a problem I will hopefully one day rectify.

then there is the foodie blogs. it turns out I really love to cook and peter really loves my cooking (most of the time). so perusing food blogs is a lot of fun for me. I love all the food porn out there. food photography is a gift, and I wish I had it (plus a fancy camera). and besides all the pretty pictures that make any food look good, there's a lot of healthy and unique dishes out there just waiting to be tried! I mean, what could be better than good food?

but my favorite genre these days is the crafty, resourceful, provident living type of blog. especially the ones who have kids. it is definitely a new life stage that I am entering here and trying to figure out a way to live simply with my small but growing family. I know even in raising a child there is a path toward sustainability. it is my goal to follow that path and have found a lot of kindred spirits lately.

I don't want to categorize myself by the type of blogs I'm reading at the moment, but it is a good representation of where you are in life. I know it will all cycle back and forth and up and down and through. sometimes I'm into more than one type, sometimes it's a narrow focus. I guess it just keeps life interesting.

what does your blogroll say about you?

determined

with little pj soon making his arrival, I have a lot still to cross off on my to do list. {and if you don't use gmail's calander, you should. I love that thing. use it all the time for my social planning. especially love the new tasks feature.} but I'm working on it.

the only problem with me and projects is that their usually a grande idea in my head that never get realized. or I start them and leave them unfinished while I move onto something else. maybe I have craft ADD. sometimes, I just need to step away from the project--especially if something is frustrating me at the moment--and when I come back to it it will all come together.

right now things are coming together, but I needed a break. take deep breaths. look at some inspiring blogs. get excited. and now I'm going to go get back to it. almost done with one project that I think I will be very proud of the finished product. we'll see how it turns out.

I am determined to get everything done this week, so I can just focus on relaxing and bringing pj into a calm environment.

can't wait to show you all what I've been up to!

cheese day, a household holiday

today was a pretty cheesy day around here. but that's okay, that's how we like it. I just wanted to share a couple yummy recipes, because if you have zucchini growing out of your ears like we do this is a good way to use some of it up.

{photo + recipe via 101 cookbooks}

lasagna tart. it's like lasagna, but sans noodles. and it's completely delicious. I actually used a different crust recipe than what heidi calls for in her recipe. it worked out well. plus I sprinkled the top with parmesan cheese before baking. definitely a must. the changes I would make would only be a little less ricotta and a little more sauce. but as is, it was still totally good.

click on over for the dish: lasagna tart recipe

and now for the crust I used. it's from the enchanted broccoli forest by mollie katzen. she has really great vegetarian recipes, so check her out if you haven't already (she's of the moosewood cookbook fame) this was the first time making this crust and I was really happy with it. it's also a good way to use up some fresh spinach if you have some laying around.

spinach crust
15 minutes to prepare
15 minutes to prebake
butter a 9" pie pan
preheat oven to 375 degrees

3/4 lb spinach - chopped very fine
3 Tbs butter
3/4 cup unbleached white flour
3/4 cup wheat germ
1/4 tsp salt
a dash of nutmeg

melt the butter in a cast iron skillet, add the spinach, and cook it quickly over fairly high heat -- stirring -- until it is just limp

remove from heat; add remaining ingredients, and mix well

pat into a buttered 9" pie pan. use a fork first, and then your fingers to mold the crust.

prebake for 15 minutes at 375, then bake as directed by recipe

we're back! kind of.

it's been a while, but we both put on some workout clothes and did our thang! okay, okay I didn't go running but I did feel like a runner! and I toyed with the idea of running. and I looked like my old athletic self. {well, besides the huge potruding basketball under my running tank} and it kind of made me feel like the old me. and I was happy to be outside in the sunshine, walking to my little heart's content.

and pedro? he's back on a bike! for real this time!! I don't know if I've ever told you about my super rad grandpa -- the one who is a hardcore cyclist -- the one who we all did an 80 mile bike ride with on his 80th birthday -- well, he gave pete one of his really nice, albeit older road bikes. and he says it rides like a dream and actually fits him better than his old bike. {the guy who fitted him to his old bike was on crack, I think. pete does not have freakishly small arms} he even went on a real ride!

it's like our saturday morning was normal. me out running {aka walking right now} and pete out on a ride. it really doesn't get much better. well, unless I was actually running, of course.

so true

I know, I know all I ever talk about is baby related. this is turning into a mommy blog faster than you can believe. but I saw this and loved it. what a fun sentiment.

bowling for two

why is it that women bowl better when they're pregnant? it seems to be a true, proven fact. I wish I had realized my potential months ago, I would have made my dream a reality: join a bowling league. (number 42 on anna jo's list of rad things to do before I die -- though in reality I secretly want to be the worst team in the league, so maybe I should join sans baby baking in the womb) now I only have about a month left. . .

yesterday was my department's summer party. youth ed once again came out on top and was the champions of the bowling tournament. yep, I had a very good game for myself.

strike + strike + strike = TURKEY!!!

thank you very much.

now if it had only been thanksgiving I would have accomplished THIS goal. (number 57)

{photo credit}

the baby bump

seriously? why is this picture so small? could someone please explain to me the idiosyncrasies of blogger's formatting sometime? 'cause I know peter gets sick of me coming to him when I want something little {and I'm sure very easy} like this fixed all the time. well, you can always click on it to get the bigger version, I suppose. because you might need to anyway to fully appreciate the main topic of this post: my mamma belly.

fyi, these are the most recent pictures of me. they were taken at my latest baby shower, which just happened to be last saturday. it's not a side profile belly shot or anything, but it will have to do.

okay, so in the beginning the belly was small. so small that nobody could tell I was pregnant. everyday I would stand in front of the mirror and ask pete, can you tell that I'm pregnant? he would always say no. then one day it just sort of popped out. and people could definitely see that there was something growing in there. but they always told me how small I looked.

well, as little pj has grown, the belly has grown with him. it's kind of funny to get the looks and responses from people when I tell them I'm due the end of september. they don't say I'm huge or anything, they just give me this sideways glance that says, you look like you should be due a lot sooner than that, sister! at least that's what I feel like the look is saying.

this morning at camp I was talking to a parent about how we only have two more weeks left of the summer and she turned to me and asked, are you going to make it? I laughed and said that I'm sure I would. when I told her I wasn't actually due until the end of september she gave me that look. when she left I asked my dear friend + coworker if I really looked that big for being eight months pregnant. she said she thinks I'm actually pretty small. so there you go.

and not like being big or small is something I'm concerned about. pj is in there growing, and my body is growing right along with him, at the right pace. I don't like to get caught up in the weight gain, and the body image and all that. but that doesn't mean I sometimes don't think about that stuff. sometimes it's hard not to compare yourself to other preggo bellies. but really in the end I believe that your body does what it needs and will, to a certain extent, do what it will anyway. as long as I'm not going crazy and indulging every craving {which, btw, I haven't really had cravings which kinda bums me out -- I was really hoping I'd experience craving dirt or ice cream and pickles at the same time} I know I will be fine.

I look down at my belly and some days I think it's huge and some days I think it's small. sometimes I even forget it's there until I look in a mirror or bump into something. this changing body thing is quite the wild ride. but I love it.

wow, such a long post about my belly. who knew. I'll end on a high note: club u had a little talent show this afternoon and I got to be the girl who holds up the appluase sign. someone told me afterward that when I would hold up the sign (which was a huge piece of poster board) from the legs down and the top up, I didn't look pregnant at all! that's always a little something nice for a pregnant mamma to hear!

funny observation

okay, so this observation isn't really ha-ha funny per se. maybe more like interesting funny. to me at least.

so peter got hit with this really bad cold that has lasted an entire week. it has put him out of commission even more so than when he had his accident, and you know, broke his neck + back. he even came home from work early one day. and then proceeded to sleep for an entire weekend. that never happens. it's hard to keep this kid down. unless he has a cold, apparently.

and all this time I was so proud of myself for staving of the sicknesses. my immune system must have the strength of two, I thought. yeah, now who's deathly ill? yep, me. but I have a plan of attack -- flush it out!! I've been drinking so much water today I'm surprised I haven't drowned. when in doubt, flush it out. that's my new motto. it goes hand in hand with my old motto, pee clear.

okay, that is enough about our sicknesses.

{ps: I should also mention that my other plan of attack is just to shove a tissue up my nose. oh, and do some oj/cayenne pepper therapy. seriously love that stuff. nothing says healing like burning in your ears.}

"not a sandbox or swings... or those monkey bar things."

I'm all in a heap here. my feet are asleep here. I'm flat out of space. I've got knees in my face. and I'm totally bored with this dumb bungy cord. . . I'm NOT kidding you. . . there is NOTHING to do! --barbara park, ma! there's nothing to do here!

seriously. what does little pj do in there all day?

sometimes I wonder if he's practicing his kung fu moves. or maybe a little tap dancing? whenever I go swimming I like to think that we're both doing the same thing. I think I've even felt him practice his flutter kick.

to be honest, though, I have no idea what he's doing in there. sometimes I can't tell his bum from his head. was that a fist or a foot? who knows. but I do love watching the belly move. I could sit there for hours just staring at my stomach. like, you know, maybe even when I'm at the movie theater watching terminator my belly might be more exciting than the movie. I'm just sayin'. totally fascinating.

since he's probably pretty bored in there with only that bungee cord to play with, I read him {and peter senior} this cute little book today. this is a great read for any expectant mamma. cute pictures plus a funny little story. am loving children's books lately.

{thanks again, oma! it was the perfect pioneer day surprise}

counting my life in weeks

my life right now is being tracked in week-long segments. I am 30 weeks gestation, 10 weeks to go until the estimated arrival of the little dude. we also just finished up week 6 of camp. which, happens to be the mid-week of the summer for us. only 5 more weeks and then it's the annual raging waters bash and the end of an era for me. life is cruising by. things will end and things will begin sooner than I know.

I feel like I have so much time, but time is slowly flying by.

defining moments

there are times in life when we make small decisions, little choices that at the time seem so insignificant and ordinary, but have the potential to put us on a new track and completely change the course of our life.

a long time ago I made a list of my defining moments in a notebook. it was left sitting, tucked away on a shelf. I found it this morning as I was cleaning out the craft room to make way for the nursery. it made me smile. a few of the the things I wrote really stuck out to me.

defining moments: what makes me, me?
born on a magic minute {3:33, good things always happen at 3:33}
learn from an early age the love of pushing a ball around in the grass
take a lit of the outdoors class - have it change my life without knowing it
out of the blue write an old friend from snow - have it change my life without knowing it
start the PRT program - Experiential Education
start running - have it change my life without knowing it
work in the field with kids, teaching about the outdoors
go through the same cycles - learn to trust my heart
find a cute boy - let love sneak up on my heart. . . have it change my life without knowing it

there was more on the list, but I think these things really did change my life without knowing it, as any defining moment should. I'm looking forward to the rest of the moments. I'm sure little pj will be a huge one, though I'm also pretty sure I know for a fact that he will change our life. and we couldn't be more excited for the adventure.

thriving

When I was little, when it rained, my grandmother would always say, "Well, it's good for the farmers." And I would give lip service and say, "That's true," and then I'd feel bad about the fact that I really didn't care about the farmers. I just wanted sun.

For thirty years, I pretty much just wanted sun.

But the other day, when it rained, I wasn't disappointed. I'd seen the difference to my new community garden plot after watering with a hose versus a soaking with a good rain. One keeps it alive. The other makes it thrive. --colin beavan, no impact man

well, then. our little garden is thriving. normally I would be thrilled about the amount of rain we have been getting here in salt lake city, utah. this is no ordinary june. every day on the forecast, more showers. it isn't unearthly hot. I really quite enjoy the thunderstorms.

but only after three pm.

as you could imagine, running a summer day camp {when all your activities are based outside} is kinda hard to do in the rain. especially when kids only come in tshirts and shorts. I guess their parents just don't look outside. so all I am saying is bring on the rain--my garden is loving it, the foliage around this valley is loving it, the water supply is loving it; but I am not loving it during camp.

that is all.