another post about my foot? seriously?

this is fast becoming anna jo's foot drop blog, I apologize for that. I should be posting cute photos of the sweet babe and talking incessantly about how he is so smart and so advanced for his age. (he really is, I swear.) but since I'm not even sure where the camera is, and even if I did I probably wouldn't be taking pictures anyway because I suck like that, I'm going to talk about my foot. {and maybe the pj-man, too.}

so I really am trying to have a good perspective about things. I'm trying to be patient. the whole thing with nerve damage is that it just takes a long time to heal. and nobody really knows how long it will take. it's hard sometimes, though, and I sort of break down. pete's been really good about helping me see beyond the moment, that this won't last forever and I just need to get in there and do my PT exercises because that's what I can control right now. and he let's me cry and complain about the pain. I'm sure he's sick of hearing about it.

but I have been going to physical therapy and have seen some very small progress. like I said, it is very small but it gives me hope. when I mentally try and lift my toes up some muscles in my leg respond. and also, my foot is uber hyper sensitive lately. I mean, it always was but now it is even more. anything that touches it, even the sheet on my bed, will make it hurt. but guess what? in this case pain equals good. as I'm getting some of that pressure off the nerves, my foot is going to start hurting more. should I be excited about more pain? yes, in this case I'll totally take it. oh and thirdly, I got my AFO brace last week which makes me walk normally. the only problem is that it hurts terribly to wear shoes (just think of having a jammed toe that you can do nothing about since you can't wiggle your toes to adjust). and the best news of all, my PT said today that if she had to guess (and mind you there is no way of accurately predicting anything with nerve damage) this would take 3 to 4 months to heal up. a lot better than the 6(+) months I've been thinking. it's already been 1.5 months. but again, who knows. it really could take more like 6 months. could take a year. but let's all hope and pray for 3 to 4 months. preferably 3.

so now that you have had the low down on my foot, what's going on with the pj you may be wondering? well, right now he is sleeping on my lap. and he's pretty much the cutest thing around. he's actually looking at things now and is able to track stuff as you move it across his line of sight. and he's smiling more. and he's got a wicked bad receding hairline going on. and did I mention he's the cutest thing around? totally love this kid.

perspective

. . .sometimes that mountain you've
been climbing is just a grain of sand. . .

my lil' sis posted this on her facebook the other day and it really struck me. just a grain of sand. maybe it should be my mantra when I feel like things are too much for me to handle. because lately things have been hard. this whole foot drop thing is taking me to the edge on a daily basis, it seems. but I must remember in the grand scheme of things this is just a grain of sand. it could be a lot bigger. a lot worse. it could be a mountain.

and anyway, if there is one thing I've learned in my life, and must remember now, is that for every mountain there is a miracle and I am stronger than I know.

this is my miracle.

pedals4pete

{pedals4pete.blogspot.com}

"Without a doubt, many of you reading this will be able to think of a way in which Pete has changed your life for the better. As a group of Pete's close friends, we know that he has affected our life many times with his kindness and generosity. So, to give back to Pete, we are trying to raise money to help obtain a new bike for Pete and to alleviate some of the financial hardship that came into Pete's life due to this unfortunate accident."
--the pedals4pete website

I am blown away with kindness right now. absolutely blown away. I always knew we had great friends, but this is unreal. thank you everyone who was a part of the pedals 4 pete campaign. the funds you donated will definitely be put to good use and couldn't have come at a more needed time. we can't even begin to tell you how grateful we are. how your secret generosity has blessed our family.

so once again, thank you.

the foot drop

it hasn't gotten better.
set up an MRI appointment.
will be going to physical therapy.

wish I could walk normally.
wish it wouldn't hurt all the time.

wondering if my pain is worth
two hundred dollars.
would you pay that for relief?
or would you continue to just deal
because is it really two hundred dollars bad
anyway?