Last year I got a crazy idea. Why not try and qualify for Boston? I mean, my PR is only 15 minutes off the qualifying time and that's when I wasn't even really trying. (I swear it was the plyometrics!) So 2005 was going to be the year to do it. I would have two chances: Salt Lake in the spring, and if that didn't go well then I'd shoot for St George that fall.
Well, Salt lake didn't go well and now here we are three weeks from St George.
I started another blog earlier this year dedicated to my Boston efforts. I wanted to take my training seriously. But with chronic injuries Boston kept feeling out of reach. I wasn't getting those quality workouts in that I knew I would need to get me where I wanted to be. There were no speedworkouts. There were no hill repeats. There were no plyometric jumprope routines.
So I was left feeling discouraged. There would be no way I was capable of holding the pace I needed to qualify. It was such a big dream that it scared me to think about it. But was my fear of failure holding me back? Were my chronic injuries manifestations of that fear? I suspect the mind-body connection is a lot closer than we let on sometimes. But maybe I've been capable of doing this all along, and I just need to push past the negative energy. Besides, frisbee has been my speedwork, and carting kids around a pool all summer has been my plyometric exercise. I think I'm closer than I know.
A few weeks ago I ran my best race to date. It completely rekindled the dream! If I can race like that in St George, then I am Boston bound. I'm still scared but I've found that excitement and anticipation that had been lost for a while. Without that mix of feelings I'm not sure it would really be worth it.
So come October 1st we'll know if next year is my year for Boston. If not, I will refocus on my goal of the Fifty States Club, and there will always be other years and other races for qualifying.
You never really know how you're going to feel on race day. I'm just counting on adrenaline and gravity to pull me through.
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1 comment:
Go Jo! I totally believe in you. (And in the mind-body connection, FWIW, but face your fear and your fear will die!)
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